Malibu Grange

Guinness legend has it that draft beer came into existence 80 years ago by the ingenious workings of a frazzled pub owner.  On busy pub nights all over Dublin, Ireland it would oftentimes take an entire 8 to 10 minutes to change the tap on a Guinness keg – way too long for patrons holding an empty glass.  One owner decided to effectively shave off five minutes of tapping time by rigging some pipes to a manual bicycle tire pump.  The results were faster pours and creamier pints created by the introduction of gas that people loved.  For their 200^th anniversary in the 1950s Guinness incorporated this technique into their kegs and Guinness lovers around the world have benefited from this change.

The Guinness beer coming out of these kegs was also the result of a happy mistake.  Arthur Guinness started brewing lager back in the mid-1700s and purchased his eponymous brewhouse in the center of Dublin in 1759 for a 9000-year lease at £45 per year.  It wasn’t until he accidentally toasted a batch of barley too long that the brew obtained its rich color.  Not being a wasteful person, he sold the blunder to the porters on the docks who bought the beer at a cheaper price – and loved it.  It became so popular that Arthur abandoned lager altogether and switched his production exclusively to porter or stout as it is often called.  The Guinness factory museum holds the ledger notes of the last batch of lager brewed in 1799.  Official Guinness lore doesn’t fess up to the mistake, crediting Ralph Harwood of Shoreditch, London with porter’s creation in 1722, but folks recently on the Guinness inside gave us the scoop.

From humble yet confident beginnings, Guinness has become one of the largest beer producers in the world.  Today Guinness is poured in more than 160 countries.  With 195 countries in all, it is safe to say that the majority of the world drinks Guinness, though the majority of the world doesn’t drink Guinness properly.  The correct, some would say exacting, Guinness pour should take 119.5 seconds to execute.  Good thing the chaos of St. Patrick’s Day is over so bartenders across the U.S. will have plenty of time to practice for next year’s celebrations where it is estimated about 13 million pints of Guinness will be poured around the world – a good fraction of the 1.9 billion pints poured globally each year.

For those who need a lesson, I am here to offer first aid as I attended a private-proper-pour crash course at the Guinness factory.  First step – take a very clean and dry pint glass.  Tip it at a 45-degree angle, pull the draft handle forward and fill the glass a little more than ¾ of the way full.  In Ireland this is easy to demarcate because every pub has ample pint glasses etched with the golden Guinness harp to indicate proper placement – right at the harp’s belly.  Second step – the pint should rest casually aside for about 30 seconds or so while the trademark Guinness “surge” takes effect – a nitrogen-induced volcanic dance the beer does inside the glass transforming itself from a reactive milky chocolate brown color to a calm, deep, rich dark ruby.  Yes, the Irish actually use “ruby” to describe the Guinness hue.  This surge effect in a can is created by a small white globe called a “widget” squeezed inside that has been labeled the second best invention of the 20^th century next to the internet.

Once the surge has settled and hopefully the bartender has taken advantage of the time to flirt with his/her patrons, a layer of creamy foam should have formed at the top of the pour.  In total the foam should fall within the 11 and 15-millimeter range.  For the second part of the pour, the keg handle is pushed away for a slower, more controlled flow as the glass is filled just until the creamy head is a millimeter or so above the top of the glass creating a slight dome.  Anymore and the beer with spill over, which is a waste, and any less, well, just isn’t a proper pint of Guinness.  The goal is to get the creamy bitter foam to mix with the sweetness of the dark treasure below.  If you really fancy yourself a Guinness drinker it will take you three long swigs to finish one pint, a challenge many Irish (and foreign) publicans have mastered.  And at a slimming 198 calories, believe it or not a pint of Guinness draft is diet food when compared to milk, orange juice and other beers of the same liquid volume.

It takes ten days to make a pint of Guinness from toast to pub pour.  Barley, hops, water and yeast are the only four ingredients used.  Guinness uses 100,000 pounds of barley every year, with 80% grown in Ireland.  Barley is used in three forms — raw, lightly toasted and malted and dark roast.  The dark toast comes from the last ten minutes of toasting that if I heard correctly was accomplished after 2.5 hours in a 230-degree roaster.  Toasters used to be paid by the toast load and if it wasn’t perfect they weren’t paid.

Hops, a beautiful though bitter tasting flower, are a natural beer preservative and a higher proportion is used to make Guinness than most beers.  The increased percentage balances out the sweet roasted qualities of the barley.  For water, the Guinness factory in Dublin has been using the same source for centuries from the Wicklow Mountains located 10 miles south of the city, which provides a spring water low in mineral content.  They say this water is key for their porter, like Brooklyn pizza masters say New York’s finest is to their crusts.  And then there is the yeast – the key to alcoholic fermentation of any kind – a secret signature component of Guinness beer held in ironclad safes away from prying eyes.  Only the brewmaster knows the strain.

To find out more about Guinness visit their website at: guinness.com/